Positive Thinking
The Philosophy of Life
| Sometimes we're somber |
Sometimes we're joyous |
| Sometimes life is difficult |
Sometimes life is easy |
| Sometimes life is tawdry |
Sometimes life is beautiful |
| Sometimes we're worse |
Sometimes we're better |
| Sometimes we're struggling |
Sometimes we're well off |
| Sometimes we're sick |
Sometimes we're in good
health |
| Sometimes we're depressed |
Sometimes we're euphoric |
| Sometimes we're sad |
Sometimes we're happy |
| Sometimes we want to die |
Sometimes we want to live |
| Sometimes we're cast down |
Sometimes we're exalted |
| Sometimes life is a battle |
Sometimes life is
glorious |
To actively change our moods we have to seek out our negative
thoughts, see how these thoughts are flawed, and create new
positive thoughts to replace them.
Every bad feeling you have is the result of your distorted
negative thinking. Every time you feel depressed about something,
try to identify a corresponding negative thought you had just prior
to and during the depression. Because these thoughts have actually
created your bad mood, by learning to restructure them, you can
replace them with positive thoughts which will brighten your
mood.
A powerful technique for becoming more peaceful is to be aware
of how quickly your negative and insecure thinking can spiral out
of control. Have you ever noticed how uptight you feel when you're
caught up in your thinking? And, to top it off, the more absorbed
you get get in the details of whatever is upsetting you, the worse
you feel. One thought leads to another, and yet another, until at
some point, you become incredibly agitated.
The solution is to notice what's happening in
your head before your thoughts have a chance to build up momentum.
The sooner you catch yourself in the act of building your mental
snowball, the easier it is to stop. Remember every image you hold
in your mind and communicate to your subconscious has an impact on
your body and your health.
You can use visualizations to become more peaceful and relaxed.
There are eight steps to the visualization process.
- Take 3 deep breaths
- Take a deep breath in until your stomach begins to rise
- Keep breathing in intil your chest expands and your stomach
falls
- Let all the air out in the reverse order you took it in
- Tense each muscle for about 5 seconds then relax it for 15
seconds before going to the next muscle
- Picture yourself in pleasant natual surroundings
- See yourself and the problem area as it is now
- Change the problem area in whatever way you want
- Feel the feelings of achieving your goal. i.e. pride,
satisfaction, joy
- Return to your home base. Pat yourself on your back for doing
this
- Tell yourself you deserve this goal!
Cognitive Distortions and their definitions
- All-or-Nothing Thinking; this refers to your tendency to
evaluate your personal qualities in extreme, black or white
categories, if your not the best then you must be the worst.
- Overgeneralization; you arbitrarily conclude that one
thing that happened to you once will occur over and over again,
i.e. that always happens to me.
- Mental Filter; you pick out a negative detail in any
situation and dwell on it exclusively, you pay very little
attention to the positives, they're of little consequence or
they're not real, a mistake.
- Disqualifying the Positive; to transform neutral or even
positive experiences into negative ones. You don't just ignore
positive experiences, you swiftly turn them into their negative
opposite. i.e. if someone compliments you, you tell yourself that
they're just being nice, they don't really mean it.
- Jumping to Conclusions; you jump to negative conclusions
that are not justified by the facts of the situation, You either
presume you know what the other person is thinking, or you forecast
something, in a negative way, that hasn't happened yet.
- Magnification and Minimization; you are either blowing
things up out of proportion or shrinking them. Magnification
commonly occurs when you look at your own errors, fears, or
imperfections and exaggerate their importance. When you look at
your strengths, you see them as small and unimportant.
- Emotional Reasoning; you take your emotions as evidence
for the truth. i.e. I feel inadequate, therefore, I must be a
worthless person. or I feel unsure, therefore, I must be an
idiot.
- Should Statements; you try to motivate yourself by
saying, "I should do this" or "I must do that". These statements
cause you to feel pressured and resentful and then apathetic and
unmotivated. If you use should statements towards other people you
usually end up feeling frustrated or resentful.
- Labeling and Mislabeling; you create a completely
negative self-image based on your errors. You think the measure of
a person is the mistakes they make. Instead of saying "I made a
mistake" you say "I'm a failure". Instead of thinking that she is
independent and could use a better explanation, you think of her as
an uncooperative bitch. Mislabeling involves describing an event
with words that are inaccurate and emotionally heavily loaded. i.e.
A woman on a diet ate a dish of ice cream and thought, "How
disgusting and repulsive of me, I'm a pig.". These thoughts made
her so upset she ate the whole carton of ice cream.
- Personalization; this is guilt to the extreme. You
assume responsibility for a negative event when there is no basis
for doing so. What ever happens it must be your fault because of
your inadequacy, even when you were not responsible for it. i.e.
When a mother saw her child's report card and a note from the
teacher indicating the child was not doing well in school, she
immediately decided, "I must be a bad mother, this shows how I've
failed".
Use these negative distortions when you seek out your negative
thoughts. Enter them in a journal either pen and paper or
electronic.
Now here is a sample of more logical thinking to the above
distortions, enter them in your journal next to your negative
thoughts.
- In life nothing is black or white, but an infinite shade of
grays and colours. What ever happened was probably closer to the
average than you thought.
- No single event has a never-ending pattern, try very hard to
think of all the times the event turned out positive.
- Think of the negative detail as insignificant and look for all
the positive details.
- Remember that you've been looking at your self through your own
negative thoughts, the compliment probably comes from the heart and
is very real. Believe the positives and they will become
real.
- Unless you are psychic you can not read other people's minds or
foresee the future. If you expect something to happen, your
subconscious mind will cause you to act in ways that will fulfill
that expectation. Try to think of as many logical and possible
solutions to the problem as you can then choose the most positive
one.
- Everyone makes mistakes, you don't own the market, just see
them as a learning experience. Overlook other people's mistakes
they probably didn't mean it or they're as mixed up as you, ha
ha.
- Your emotions are just symptoms of your feelings. Try to look
at things in a factual and logical way if you really want to solve
a problem you'll put them away and try to see the problem from
another person's eyes.
- Change your shoulds and oughts to "I would like to" or "I wish
they would". Change your shoudn'ts to "I'll try not to".
- The measure of a person is the good they do, everyone makes
mistakes. Everyone is an individual so labeling is quite illogical.
The subconscious mind is very literal. If it hears "I'm so stupid"
repeated time and time again, it takes that to mean that your goal
is to be stupid and it will work to see that you do stupid
things.
- Every event has many causes, even if you did contribute to it
in some small way, don't dwell on it but try to correct what you
think you've done wrong.
When you have finished seeking out your illogical thinking and
tried to correct it start on your positive thoughts. Begin by
thinking up an affirmation that would benefit you the most, I will
give you a short list of bad things you would like to correct and
the affirmation that you could use. If you use your own affirmation
try to keep it simple and easy to remember, eventually you'll want
it to be a automatic response to the negative thoughts your trying
to get rid of.
Negative Feelings
Frustration at not being accepted.
Inability to move forward with ease.
Lack of emotional support.
Feeling unloved.
Holding back love.
Fear or tension.
Trying to control everything.
Not trusting the process of life or love.
Feeling dirty and unloved.
AFFIRMATION
I love and approve of myself.
Negative Feelings
Smother love.
Inability to breathe for one's self.
Feeling stifled.
Suppressed crying.
Fear of parent.
Holding on to old ideas.
fear of letting go.
Lack of joy in the decisions made in life.
AFFIRMATION
It is safe now for me to take charge of my life.
Negative Feelings
Fear of life.
Not wanting to be here
Trying to control everything.
Not trusting the process of life.
AFFIRMATION
I am safe and loved
Negative Feelings
Guilt.
Stuck in all that "stuff" back there.
Get off my back.
Anger and revenge thoughts.
Experiences backing up.
Holding on to old ideas.
Fear of letting go.
AFFIRMATION
I release the past, so that I may look forward to a positive
future
An old stand by that sometimes works is
"Every day in every way I'm getting better and
better"
Once you have an affirmation put it everywhere you might see it,
the computer screen, taped to the fridge, by your bed ect. Every
morning say it to yourself three times, do the same thing when you
go to bed. If you do my exercises or some form of meditation try
fitting it in there. The art of positive thinking is just repeating
something over and over until your subconscious mind accepts it as
the truth, so be sure you pick an affirmation you can really
believe in. Also try not to tell your subconscious anything
negative as it will believe that as well. Think the thoughts you
want to hear and if any negative thoughts come in, turn them around
and make them positive. You can do it!
The next step would be to do the relaxation exercises (or mine)
until you are so compleatly relaxed the outside world seems to be
in the very far distance or doesn't exsist at all and you're at
compleat ease at this point you can let any or all of your
affirmations sink into your subconscious mind. You might want to
set an alarm clock to bring yourself out of it in say 30 minutes.
If you can master this as well as the ancients did than you should
be on the road to full recovery from what ever problem you had.
Good luck.
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